Showers, Tortoises, and smut, oh my!
by Stephenie18
Summary: It's amazing what baby tortoises can do for a relationship. Really, it is.


Title: For the love of turtles.  
Category: Humor, Friendship, Romance

Rating: M

Pairing: Rizzles! What else?

Disclaimer: I would MORE THAN LOVE to own a piece of this show... but I don't. :(

Summary: It's amazing what baby tortoises can do for a relationship. Really, it is.

A/N: HEY! It's been a while. The plot to this story came to me in a dream the other night. (Trippy, huh?) But nonetheless, I hope that this is as interesting as it was when I dreamed it.

It was just a lazy weekend. I had taken some of my ever abundant vacation days to truly relax, which I rarely ever do. It was mid afternoon, and I decided to pay a visit to Maura's, who also took the weekend off. (She thought we should sync our vacations so we could have some "quality time". Why not?)

I knocked on her door for a while before both calling and texting her. I started to get worried, so I used my key deemed for "emergencies". "Maura?"

I heard some rustling that sounded like it was coming from the general direction of her bedroom, and put my hand on the heel of my gun (which I never left home without) instinctively.

"MAURA! Are you here? Is everything alright?"

I then heard a loud bang, like someone fell or dropped something, and took off running toward the master suite. Not seeing anyone, but seeing the light coming from the bathroom, I eased my way toward the door, hearing quiet whispering from the other side. I stood quietly for a moment, trying to get a listen on what was happening. When I heard Maura's soft voice mutter something I can only describe as "soothing", I cocked my weapon, ready to barge through the door for fear that she was in danger. When I heard another loud bang, I quickly swung the door open only to be faced with a surprised Maura kneeling on the floor next to her shower which contained Bass, her tur... tortoise, another tortoise a little smaller than Bass, and three of the tiniest little tortoises I have ever seen in my life.

I took a calming breath and holstered my weapon. Maura pet Bass' shell softly, before standing up and approaching me.

"Were you planning on shooting the tortoises, Jane?" She asks with a smirk.

I shake my head. "You didn't answer the door, your phone, or my yells. I got concerned. But now I can see you were only babysitting. What exactly is happening in here anyway?"

Maura smiled, and turned slightly toward the shower stall which held the tortoises and a few unhatched eggs. "Well, a little while ago I took Bass on a play date with a colleague of mine who has a specialty in rehabilitating wild animals. She has a tortoise just like Bass, so I thought it would be interesting to see them interact."

I nod and reply, "Long story short?"

"Bass had babies."

I smiled at Maura before looking at the floor. "So Bass is a daddy, huh?" At Maura's nod, I crouch to the floor next to the shower to give him a congratulatory pat on the shell. "Good going, my man."

Maura's laugh filled the room as she knelt beside me, causing me to smile and look in her direction.

"So what about these other eggs? Nothing bad happened, right?"

Maura shook her head. "I don't believe so. Sometimes it just takes a little while for all of them to emerge. It hasn't been long since the first one hatched. I'm sure you'll get to see the rest."

As she finished her sentence, the soft sound of cracking filled the room, causing us to look toward the eggs. Sure enough a little crack appeared on one. The little crack spread all the way around the top of the egg before I saw the tiny little head of a tortoise pop out, causing the egg to fall to its side. When it did, the little thing just plain fell out of the only home its known and onto the floor of the shower. It made this tiny little squeak, I guess out of surprise, and Maura and I watched with wide smiles and baited breath as the tike tried to squirm its way to its siblings.

I felt Maura's gaze shift its focus to me as I continued to watch the tiny reptiles. Ever since we've been friends, I've always been able to tell when she's looking at me. It's like she emits heat from her eyes or something. She insists she's not a cyborg..

But, unlike other times when her gaze was fleeting, this time it lingered. I turned my head slightly so I could see her in my peripheral vision. I saw her eyes scan down my body and back up slowly, stopping at my eyes and smiling, and then diverting her attention back to her new additions.

"What?" I asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the quiet completely.

Maura turned her head to meet my gaze. "What do you mean, 'what?'"

I chuckled lightly. "What were you thinking about just now?"

I saw her smile widen. "I was just thinking about how I'm technically a grandparent now."

I giggled at the thought. I started to mock the idea, but saw that her statement was unfinished.

"I'm also incredibly glad you're here," she said, looking away shyly.

I scooted closer to her, then, placing my hand gently onto her shoulder. "I'm glad I'm here, too. I don't think I've ever seen animals this small."

She turned to me and smiled. She and I both turned our attention back to the one unhatched egg still remaining in the shower, willing it to hatch and join the others. She placed a hand on my leg, and I covered it with the one that was on her shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze as we waited patiently for the last tortoise to enter the world.

It seemed like we sat there forever just simply staring at that last egg. Truth be told, I had begun given up hope. As a kid, we had a pet bird who had a whole net full of eggs, and only about half managed to contain healthy baby birds.

But I held on to some hope for the sake of the beautiful honey blonde next to me. I would honestly do anything for that woman. At that moment in time, I don't think she realized just how whipped she had me. I had been in love with her for a long time, and had just pushed it aside. I wanted to be the friend she needed, so I sat holding her hand and prayed for that last little egg to crack.

My eyes, which had closed in a deep breath cracked open harshly at the distinct sound of breaking shell. I felt Maura squeezing my hand and I squeezed back, happy that the little thing had survived.

In all honesty, I had never seen anything quite as amazing as seeing that little guy/girl manage to get up on its feet. I don't know if it was just me, but that last one was the cutest. It had sporadic spots on its body, and the prettiest coloring on its shell. I smiled at the now united family, and looked over at Maura, whose smile was nothing short of glowing. I felt my smile widen by merely watching her joy.

I was lost in a trance when she turned her head to look at me. When I snapped out of my "Maura induced coma", I was faced with a look I had never seen from her. It was a look I can only describe as "sudden realization". I raised my eyebrow in confusion, and suddenly soft lifts were pressed against mine.

It took me a while to know what was happening, but as soon as I did, I responded fervidly. Our tongues dueled intensely, until a giant crash caused us to pull apart sharply. Our heads immediately turned in the direction of the noise, and we both immediately laughed, partly due to our giddiness, and partly due to the fact that the littlest baby tortoise was laying on its back after having tried to climb atop Bass' shell.

I looked over at Maura, who was still laughing at the antics of the baby reptile. "He reminds me of you, Jane," she said with a laugh.

I smiled, "How so?"

She turned to look at me and said with an adoring look, "Stubborn, determined, and just about the cutest thing I have ever seen."

I feel my smile widen as I think back on that day. It honestly changed my life. I got a new pet tortoise that Maura promptly named "Adrian" (after that Monk guy), a new appreciation for life itself, and a wonderful girlfriend, who chose this exact moment to curl her wonderfully soft (and wonderfully naked) body into mine. My arm always tightens around her when she does that. Her hand starts to draw soft circles on my abdomen, and I close my eyes at the sensation. Somebody was awake all of a sudden.

"Have a nice nap?"

"Mmhmm," she replies not yet awake enough to form a proper response.

I lean down to kiss the top of her head, which causes a small smile to form on her lips. She looks so happy, and it always warms my heart to see that I can make her smile like that. She opens her eyes then, looking up at me with the sleepiest and most adorable face I think I've ever seen. I feel her hand move up my naked torso to rest of the side of my jaw, and soon she is pulling my head down to meet her in a sweet kiss.

She pulls away and I rest my forehead against hers. "You taste good," I say, which caused her to smile.

"I'm glad you think so. You aren't so bad yourself, Detective."

"I think you demonstrated that pretty well earlier, Doc."

Maura smiles devilishly, then, which causes my stomach to flutter. "Oh, I did? Then I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I had a little snack. I'm quite famished."

I lick my lips, which were suddenly very dry. "Normally I wouldn't. But I think that I'm first in line for a little something to eat, don't you?" I retort as I turn her over to climb atop her, kissing down her jaw and neck.

I hear her hum contentedly as I pepper kisses over her collar bone. I can feel her delicate hands stroke lovingly across my back as I worship the perfect body lying beneath me. It still amazes me that this beautifully crafted creature chose someone as rough around the edges as I am. But as my lips meet her supple breast, all the doubts rush away to be replaced by sheer determination and ever abundant adoration. I feel her nails lightly scratch my back as she tries to pull me closer. Taking the hint, I kiss and lick harder, reveling in the sound of her hums and gasps.

I kiss my way across her chest and move to the other breast, her hands moving to tangle in my hair.

"Jane..." she breathes out in a moan.

I hum against her, which causes her grip to tighten. Ignoring the pain in my scalp, I continue to drag my lips all over every inch of skin on her abdomen. She begins to wiggle slightly underneath me, trying to guide my mouth to her southern regions. I smile against her skin, more determined than ever to take my time.

I hear her grunt her disapproval at my antics and laugh as I move my way up to capture her lips into a searing kiss. She moves her knee between my legs to provide a torturing friction against my now slightly moving hips, trying to coerce me into what she desires. It's hard not to give in, but I take my leg and swing it over hers so that I am straddling both, which effectively pins her from seducing me, not that she needs to even try.

I smirk down at her as my hands begin a soft massage of the muscles in her torso. She moans in pleasure as I relax the tissue beneath my strong hands. As I make my way to her thighs and down her legs, I realize that she has officially melted into the mattress. She is completely relaxed and as I look up her body, I see the undeniable wetness between her legs and smirk. I move back up her body, kissing as I go, and begin massaging the joints that connect her leg to her pelvis. Her eyes shoot open, her gaze meeting mine heatedly.

I slowly bring my hands closer together, massaging my way closer and closer to where she wants me to be. Just as I'm about to touch the ever sensitive skin of her folds, I pull away. She grunts loudly, which I immediately silence by latching my mouth onto her clitoris. I suck slowly, licking and kissing intermittently. She begins writhing wildly beneath me once more. Just as her hands begin to grip the sheets and her moans become louder and closer together, I once again pull away. The noise she makes was a whine well over the line of desperation.

I honestly feel bad for the woman, but I know it will be well worth it for her. She grips my torso, trying to pull me back down onto her. I reply with a shake of my head.

"Turn over, Maura."

She groans, partly in aggravation and partly in appreciation of the idea. I assist her as she turns over. I take a long moment to appreciate the view of Maura on her knees and forearms. I smack her ass lightly, which causes a moan to escape the woman in front of me.

"Down, tiger," I say with a chuckle. I begin to massage the muscles on the back of her calves and then move up to the skin of her lower back. She sighs at the contact, raising her ass in the air for more. I slap her ass again, this time harder then before. She groans what sounds like my name, and without warning, I thrust two fingers into her. She moans in pleasure as I move in and out of her with absolutely no rhythm just to drive her crazy. Alternating between fast and slow was making her go nuts, her body unable to adjust to the rapid changes in pace.

"Jaaaaaane, please..." she whines.

"Tell me what you want, baby."

"You," she says in shallow breaths.

"You always have me, beautiful. You have to do better than that," I say, bringing my thumb down to touch her clit, which results in a jerk of her body.

"God Jane. Just... (moan)... give me what I want."

"Which is what, Maura? Say it," I demand as I slap her ass again.

"GODDDD!" she screams. "JUST FUCK ME ALREADY!"

"Yes ma'am," I reply, as I stop my movements to grab the double tip strap on from the side drawer. I hear her groan from impatience and I rush to correctly fasten the harness.

Once I manage to get it properly adjusted, I waste no time slamming it to the hilt inside of Maura.

"SHIT, Jane!" she says, taking no time to meet my frantic rhythm.

It really is amazing, our relationship. I can get off by JUST pleasuring this beautiful woman. Sometimes we like it rough, with handcuffs and blindfolds, sometimes we like it slow and soft, us merely wishing to relish the feel of skin touching skin.

Tonight is somewhere in between. As I feel my end of the dildo hit a particularly sensitive spot, I grip tightly to Maura's ass, trying my best to go as fast as my muscles will allow me to go. But it seems like it just isn't enough for the woman beneath me.

"Come, Maura."

She is panting at this point, struggling to get air into her lungs. "Hands.." was all she says, but I know what she wants me to do.

I reach my hand around her, both adjusting my position and managing to rub her sensitive clit. She screams my name, along with some other cuss words, and gripps the sheets so hard her knuckles turn white. She grunts loudly as she buries her head deeper into the mattress, her back arching into the air as it becomes harder for me to thrust. But thrust I do, until I can feel my own ecstasy approaching, and use Maura's arched back to lean against as I come apart.

I can feel Maura collapse beneath me, and I follow inevitably, unable to support myself. I pull out of her, not wanting her to get uncomfortable, and toss the strap on onto the floor to be dealt with

later. My fingers run softly along the skin underneath them, both soothing her and soothing myself.

She sighs contentedly as she reaches her hand around to grab at me. I slide up her body and kiss the sensitive spot behind her ears, and manage to scoot so only half of my body was on top of her. I push the hair out of her face and am met with a sated smile, which I respond to with one of my own. She kisses me lovingly until we run out of air, and I move my hand to stroke the side of her face gently.

"I love you," she says softly, closing her eyes lazily. "And not just for the amazing sex."

I chuckle gently. "I love you back, and I love the amazing sex. Rest, I'll be here when you wake up...again."

She nods slightly, and I can feel her breathing even out underneath me. I close my own eyes, not bothering to move off of her completely.

My last thought as I fall asleep is, "It really is amazing what baby tortoises can do for a relationship."


End file.
